Unreasonable Rage
I’m so angry today :x I feel like stabbing someone in the front, dig out their heart and then smash it under my feet.
Yes, I’m that insanely angry. Why?
First of all, my nails. Whenever I stare at my nails, I feel ugly as hell. Not because it’s ugly but also because the painting is uneven thanks to the failure of a nail polish a certain someone gave me. That nail polish needs to be reported in to quality control because, believe me, that one has NO quality whatsoever.
Secondly, my assignments. I haven’t finished my thesis proposal and then we haven’t even begun any of the assignments. And then all of a sudden, from funeral business, we’re to change to event planner thanks to two certain someone who decided we should just do that without even discussing. Since the assignment is about creativity, event planner is just a fucking BORE.
Third, my bodily condition is worsening. Today, I felt an immense pain during class. I tried my very best to hide the pain because nobody realized anything. Thank goodness. I don’t know how long I have since I have stopped going for body checkups due to immense mental disappointment. But I feel that my life will continue to spiral downwards what with my being insensitive to my body’s needs and health.
Lastly, I’m just so pissing angry because of nothing and everything. I think too much about stuffs irrelevant to me and I also think too deeply into things that aren’t meant to be thought deeply about. I’m bringing myself misery by just thinking and such.
People often ask me, “You’re always being too emo in your blog. Are you just doing it to get pity by letting your friends see it?” The answer is, no. Truth to be told. I have since stopped pinging my blog online. Not only that, I would only ask my friends to see my blog when there is something good/funny here. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even mention a thing.
I know for a fact that my peers do not read my blog unless urged to. So I have no worries that they will view my pathetic side. After all, what do they really know about me but the sarcastic/sometimes-funny side of me? Nothing. I rather they know nothing about it because it’s none of their business at all.
Are friends really your friends? Would they be your friends forever? I doubt that.
I have learned never to trust my friends to be true friends ever since I was in Primary school. It was a bitter lesson but a lesson well learned. I learned that “Friends can be bought” and in truth, I did want to believe that but the fact is, they can be bought.
Humans have many good traits such as honesty, modesty, kindness, gentle and so on and so forth. But they are also tied to the evil qualities such as dishonesty, greed, jealousy, gluttony, and all the bads.
To me, a friend is only a friend if I’ve known them at least 4 years without any such incidents that causes me to break ties with them. Any person who I’ve known less than that are considered nothing but strangers. Not worthy of my kindness, and goodwill. They deserve nothing but my sarcasm and hate. If they can get past this and still be my friend despite all my bad points, then there’s something to be said about their naive stupidity.
Anyway, after typing so much and just ranting, I feel much better now and sleepy too. So I’m logging off now to have a nap before I start my research proposal tonight. Bye.
