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Tears are streaming down my face as I write this.

3 nights ago, my father was admitted into the hospital due to a whole week of fever and no end in sight. 2 nights ago, the doctor suspected it of being H1N1. And today, according to my mother, the doctor looked at his xrays and confirmed it to be pneumonia.

Currently, doctors are saying that if my dad loses anymore oxygen, it will become a problem.

For the whole day, I found myself crying, fighting off tears and trying to be brave in front of my siblings.

Relatives have been calling all day asking for more details and even telling me of ways to pray for my father. I did them all.

I prayed, I cried, I ranted, and I prayed again. My only wish is that my father becomes well again and to come back home. I miss his antics now that he’s been hospitalized.

I think of nothing but my father today. I tried to do some work to keep from thinking the worst, but the image of my father needing the help of machines to provide him with oxygen…is just heartwrenching. My heart broke many times today.

Every time I find myself alone, I break down in tears.

I tried my best not cry in front of my mother when she got back from the hospital. She looked tired. She even had to talk to the relatives that came over tonight. I couldn’t do a thing. I was afraid I’d cry in front of everyone when they talked about how it came to this point.

I’m afraid for tonight. I keep praying that my dad gets all the oxygen he needs and gets past tonight with flying colors.

I’m afraid of the future without my dad. My family is silent tonight. Everyone afraid to speak. Everyone is locked in their own thoughts.

Oh lord, please spare my father, we need him. He is the root that supports us and the string that ties us together. He is our life. Please spare him and give us decades more together. I beg of thee. Do not take him away.