This is a video made by my group members. I was the person directing it. It’s really funny and sad at the same time.

Funny when my team members were doing the acting.

Sad when you start to realize that there are children out there suffering thanks to their inconsiderate parents.

Don’t get married if you think it’s just going to end. And don’t let your child suffer the pains of your decisions.

Credits

Actors/Actresses

Main Girl : Joanne
Main Guy : Chan Wai
Baby : Garfield Doll
Sad Little Girl : Liru’s Cousin

Places

Jaya One
Jessica’s Upstairs Hall
Jessica’s Garden and Garage

Do you really understand the people around you?

Are they who you think they really are on the inside?

Do you really know how they perceive the world?

Are they really your friend?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I’m sure not all of us know the answers to these mind boggling questions, no? I sure as heck don’t. Many of us go through life afraid to be alone, unable to live in a world independently without a friend, or a spouse by their side. To me, this reality is a sad reality.

It’s true, we can’t all live alone. Imagine, of you were the only one in the world, who is going to farm your vegetables, grow your livery stocks, provide you medical care, make a house for you, cook for you, or even give you a legacy (meaning sex and kids)? No one obviously.

So anyway, I was digging around my hotmail account (I don’t use my hotmail email, I prefer gmail ) and found some reminder about my friend creating a blog on Friendster. So I decided, hey, I should have a look and see what she wrote since she’s not a blog person.

What I saw there was something surprising…to me, that is. In there, she was talking about how sad she was about the guy she was with a while ago. About how much she loved him but he only saw her as one of the girls he conquered. Yes, what a jerk! Anyway, she has never emotionally expressed herself, I also knew she was sad and even cried. What I didn’t know was that she wasn’t able to get over him…I myself am not a person to express myself emotionally on the outside despite some failures. So I wasn’t sure I could help her.

The point is! It’s like I don’t understand the people around me even though I have known them for years…does everyone experience this? Or am I the only odd one out? Does this mean I am the last person people would call a friend? Does this mean I lack the potential to read a person? Meaning I don’t have what it takes to be a psychologist? Unfit to live in a society filled with people?!

TELL ME!!!

I heard your voice…but I was unable to listen to what’s in your words…

I have finally, yes, finally, decided to not care anymore.

Surprising indeed. I usually would just keep it up for at least a month. But I guess, I decided, a month is just too much time to waste bothering.

Today, I don’t know what happened, but it happened. The left side of my body felt like it got pierced by thousands of needles. Not the acupuncture kinda needles but the sewing needles kinda needles. It certainly hurt like hell on hell on earth. That’s twice the hellish moment, mind you.

After that, during the evening in class, again, the left side of my body was acting up again. This time, it turned numb. Well, it could have been that it was because I was leaning on my arms but hey, my right arm felt perfectly fine. I could barely feel my fingers and when I touched my left hand to my cheek, it was freezing cold whereas my right hand was warm. Did I mention that the air-conditioner was located on my right? Weird huh?

Another weird thing I noticed today was the fact that walking back home today was especially difficult. I usually am able to walk up the hill before panting from lack of air in my lungs (that comes from lack of exercise ), today however, I was already exhausted before even reaching the main road!

What is going wrong with this sickly body of mine? I know that you’re signaling for me to start doing something about you. But I am already walking to and fro from house to university and back to the house again. The concept “one small step eventually becomes a huge step” applies here you know. So please be patient with me. Don’t die out on me yet, I am trying my best.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I’m sure a lot of people have noticed by now that I’ve been having lots of mood swings lately. I know that I have it too. But apparently I can’t seem to get out of this mood. Not that I don’t want to but I can’t help it when I’m in pain. Perhaps I should get some painkillers to help ease the pain?

But then again, I shouldn’t, I don’t want to get an addiction to it. I used to have a mini obsession for Panadols. So I better not.

I tell you, I hate it when there’s something that can be done but all of a sudden without notice, nobody does it, even after deciding upon it. I TRULY hate it. Dai kirai!!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I wonder, am I a hard person to get along with? I think I am. In fact, I think I’m an impossible person to get along with. I hate that about myself so I try to change. But after I change, I despise myself because I’m not being myself at all. In fact, I change to conform and I do not like that idea of conformity.

*Bangs into wall*

I guess like that wall, I should just be myself, without any pretense and forever unmoving. Just stay strong and stick to what I believe. Anyway, I’m super exhausted now since I was awake last night rushing my final year project proposal. So now I’m off to sleep and up early tomorrow for a wedding before back to work again on assignments.

Good night!

I’m so angry today :x I feel like stabbing someone in the front, dig out their heart and then smash it under my feet.

Yes, I’m that insanely angry. Why?

First of all, my nails. Whenever I stare at my nails, I feel ugly as hell. Not because it’s ugly but also because the painting is uneven thanks to the failure of a nail polish a certain someone gave me. That nail polish needs to be reported in to quality control because, believe me, that one has NO quality whatsoever.

Secondly, my assignments. I haven’t finished my thesis proposal and then we haven’t even begun any of the assignments. And then all of a sudden, from funeral business, we’re to change to event planner thanks to two certain someone who decided we should just do that without even discussing. Since the assignment is about creativity, event planner is just a fucking BORE.

Third, my bodily condition is worsening. Today, I felt an immense pain during class. I tried my very best to hide the pain because nobody realized anything. Thank goodness. I don’t know how long I have since I have stopped going for body checkups due to immense mental disappointment. But I feel that my life will continue to spiral downwards what with my being insensitive to my body’s needs and health.

Lastly, I’m just so pissing angry because of nothing and everything. I think too much about stuffs irrelevant to me and I also think too deeply into things that aren’t meant to be thought deeply about. I’m bringing myself misery by just thinking and such.

People often ask me, “You’re always being too emo in your blog. Are you just doing it to get pity by letting your friends see it?” The answer is, no. Truth to be told. I have since stopped pinging my blog online. Not only that, I would only ask my friends to see my blog when there is something good/funny here. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even mention a thing.

I know for a fact that my peers do not read my blog unless urged to. So I have no worries that they will view my pathetic side. After all, what do they really know about me but the sarcastic/sometimes-funny side of me? Nothing. I rather they know nothing about it because it’s none of their business at all.

Are friends really your friends? Would they be your friends forever? I doubt that.

I have learned never to trust my friends to be true friends ever since I was in Primary school. It was a bitter lesson but a lesson well learned. I learned that “Friends can be bought” and in truth, I did want to believe that but the fact is, they can be bought.

Humans have many good traits such as honesty, modesty, kindness, gentle and so on and so forth. But they are also tied to the evil qualities such as dishonesty, greed, jealousy, gluttony, and all the bads.

To me, a friend is only a friend if I’ve known them at least 4 years without any such incidents that causes me to break ties with them. Any person who I’ve known less than that are considered nothing but strangers. Not worthy of my kindness, and goodwill. They deserve nothing but my sarcasm and hate. If they can get past this and still be my friend despite all my bad points, then there’s something to be said about their naive stupidity.

Anyway, after typing so much and just ranting, I feel much better now and sleepy too. So I’m logging off now to have a nap before I start my research proposal tonight. Bye.

A happy Chinese/Lunar New Year to each and everyone of you.

This may be a late greeting but a greeting non the less. I haven’t had the time or energy the past few days to post my greeting post due to my being in my grandparents house celebrating the New Year

A note to all who have received empty SMSes from me, I’m sorry. Why? Because my little nephews have been playing with my handphone and they have accidentally sent a few empty ones to some of my contacts. You know who you are

Anyway, how is everyone on this good/bad/stormy/fine day/night? I hope you’re all having a blast the past few days and will continue to do so for the whole year.

I’m doing fine myself. I even got a fair amount of RED packets (ang pau) from my parents, grandparents, and relatives. Lots have happened these first 4 days of the new year. Do you want to read about it? No? Too bad, my friend. It’s my blog so what I say, goes.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.

On the eve (Wednesday), we went back in the evening since my family had to do last minute decorating, cleaning, washing, and preparing before the year blows away with the stroke of twelve. After all the preparation, we all went to bath (individually, of course) and off we went to my grandparents house. Reaching there after about 20 minutes, we were greeted with the sight of a full house. It seems that everyone had arrived before us in the mood to celebrate. We were to!

What a lot of commotion my family makes. What with all the people grouping and chit chatting, the young people with the other young people, the older ones with the older ones and the little ones chasing each other. What a festive day indeed! Not to mention, everybody handed out and received their red packets on that day. I myself received a total of 10 that day myself

Approaching midnight, everybody started to get restless. Each and every one of us staring at the old grandfather clock which had seen us go through life, from infancy to adulthood. And when the hand strikes twelve and the clock started chiming, some of us looked out the window with index fingers hiding in our ears, the firecracker went off!

IT WAS SO LOUD THAT WE HAD TO SHOUT AT EACH OTHER TO BE HEARD OVER IT! EVEN THE KIDS GOT OVER THEIR FEARS TO TAKE IN THE NEW YEAR. AROUND THE HOUSE, FIREWORKS STARTED GOING OFF IN ALL COLORS. WHAT AN AMAZING SPECTACLE!!!!

And at last, the firecracker stopped making noise after it has coughed it’s last “CRACK!” With that, everyone started to say goodbye to my grandparents in preparation to go back to our own homes. As we stepped outside the house, we witnessed a BEAUTIFUL sight. A fireworks display was shown to us by neighbors where all sorts of different kind of fireworks lit up the night sky. Some were spinning, some split into a circle, some split into circles and split again after that. The fireworks went on for 15 minutes. And then we were off. Tired but happy we didn’t fall asleep before 12am (There’s this superstition that if we slept before 12am, our parents will have a shorter life span).

.~*~.~*~.~*~.

Thursday - The first day of New Year! My family (my parents, my siblings, and myself), I woke up the EARLIEST today thinking that we had to go off early thanks to my parents saying that we were going to go back to my grandparents house again at 8am something we woke up early to take a family picture in our newly renovated part of the building upstairs. We all even wore new clothes to usher in the new year. After the photo taking session, we started moving to go to my grandparents house and we are of course, LATE!

So rush we did. But nobody really cared that we were late because we don’t start our house visits until late in the afternoon since we are the host at my grandparents house in the morning until it’s our turn to go visiting the guests (extended relatives) who visited us earlier. We also had glue (it’s a kind of sticky food with mushroom, noodles, and some other sort of ingredients that I paid no heed to). My parents said that the glue was a sort of ultra-super-ultimate-forever-kinda glue that would stick the family together. A tight bond that will never break.

Our first day visiting was a TRULY HOT day. Just like every new year in previous years, it was smoldering hot. Only visited two houses (5th grand-auntie and 1st grand-auntie) on this day. But it was good since we only get to see the extended family during the new year I have to say, my grand-aunties still looked as old as ever

After the visits, we went home early without dinner at my grandparents house since my dad was already exhausted. But of course, as soon as we went home, we were to awake to sleep, even my dad! So we gambled (yes it’s a tradition to gamble during the new year ) and sadly, I lost my pants! a whole lot of money and that was it for the 1st day of new year.

While on our way home, on the road, just like last year, we saw a COBRA in the middle of the road! It was smaller than last year but a Cobra nontheless. My dad said that since last year was the year of the Pig, the snake had to be larger since the cobra needed to be bigger to tackle the pig lol. And this is the year of the Rat so a smaller cobra is sufficient

Not a bad day either since I received another 5 red packets today.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.

Friday - the 2nd day of new year is the busiest day like every other 2nd day of new year for my family since it’s the day where we go to all the houses we haven’t visited yet for the whole day! Altogether, we visited…mmm…6 houses (2nd uncle, 4th grandauntie, last grandauntie, my own house, 3rd grandauntie, 1st auntie)! We had 3 pit stops while visiting. The 2nd house where everyone had breakfast (satay!), the 4th house, which is my house for lunch (luckily my house is big or the family won’t be able to fit lol!), and the last house where we had dinner (KFC!! Yum!).

Received another 6 red packets today.

.~*~.~*~.~*~.

That’s about all I can about about the interesting days. Today wasn’t all that exciting since all I did was stay in my room to do my research proposal. Also, I watched Rush Hour 3 and My Super Ex-Girlfriend. And…that’s about it

Well, have a happy lunar new year everyone and may this year be a good one for you and myself