Thinking Under Bizarre Reasonings

Do you really understand the people around you?

Are they who you think they really are on the inside?

Do you really know how they perceive the world?

Are they really your friend?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I’m sure not all of us know the answers to these mind boggling questions, no? I sure as heck don’t. Many of us go through life afraid to be alone, unable to live in a world independently without a friend, or a spouse by their side. To me, this reality is a sad reality.

It’s true, we can’t all live alone. Imagine, of you were the only one in the world, who is going to farm your vegetables, grow your livery stocks, provide you medical care, make a house for you, cook for you, or even give you a legacy (meaning sex and kids)? No one obviously.

So anyway, I was digging around my hotmail account (I don’t use my hotmail email, I prefer gmail ) and found some reminder about my friend creating a blog on Friendster. So I decided, hey, I should have a look and see what she wrote since she’s not a blog person.

What I saw there was something surprising…to me, that is. In there, she was talking about how sad she was about the guy she was with a while ago. About how much she loved him but he only saw her as one of the girls he conquered. Yes, what a jerk! Anyway, she has never emotionally expressed herself, I also knew she was sad and even cried. What I didn’t know was that she wasn’t able to get over him…I myself am not a person to express myself emotionally on the outside despite some failures. So I wasn’t sure I could help her.

The point is! It’s like I don’t understand the people around me even though I have known them for years…does everyone experience this? Or am I the only odd one out? Does this mean I am the last person people would call a friend? Does this mean I lack the potential to read a person? Meaning I don’t have what it takes to be a psychologist? Unfit to live in a society filled with people?!

TELL ME!!!

I heard your voice…but I was unable to listen to what’s in your words…

Good lord! It seemed like only last week that 2008 flew by and now we’re already into day 6 of February. Although it’s February and Chinese New Year is only 2 days away and Valentine’s Day is also coming up, sad to say however that my feelings of celebration has not come to surface at all this year.

I knew from the beginning that this year would be a busy year for me but I didn’t expect it to ruin my mood for me as well. These past few days, I have been slouching in front of my computer scratching my head to begin my research proposal for my Final Year Project. And right now, because of this proposal, I would have a holiday (although on the outside, it might appear that I have a WHOLE week of holiday, but on the inside, I’m actually working my butt off) of research to do.

Indeed, I have now, from busy mode, have turned myself into “UNAVAILABLE” for the rest of this year until I have successfully turned in my Final Year project. I’m sorry, to make it clear, “UNAVAILABLE” doesn’t only mean unavailable for boy-girl/man-woman relationships but also for family, peer, any kind of relationships. Which means, no movies, no shopping, no “hanging out”, no fooling around, no fun. It’s sad, I know. But it’s all for the sake of my future.

Well, I’m logging off now to return to my research proposal (only done the FIRST paragraph of the Introduction, pathetic! It’s progressing…slowly…). So bye-bee! I’ll post every few days or so to bring some misery *cackles*BRUAHAHAHAHA*twinkles evilly*.

2007 bade us farewell while 2008 took it’s place.

With 2008, a whole new semester in University begins.

And with a new semester came with it, 6 subjects.

With 6 subjects, a new time table is drawn.

A time table so pack, other than home and University, everywhere else is impossible.

With a jam-packed time table, came another nightmare all degree students await.

The mention of Industrial Attachment and Final Year Project brings us to our knees.

Not only are we struggling to balance 6 subjects, 6 assignments, a bunch of replacement classes, and debates, we now have to figure out where we want to have our Industrial Attachment (preferably somewhere we like), as well as figure out what topic we’re interested in for our Final Year Project.

Nightmares indeed!

Speaking of Nightmares, I had 2 nightmares last night. But I can only remember the first.

My nightmare was about this pregnant woman. Struggling with pain, she enters a random hospital. At the hospital, she was immediately taken to the Emergency Room (ER). At first, one would think that these doctors would do a professional job of delivering her baby but in truth, it was as unprofessional as kids playing hospital.

The doctors and nurses placed this poor woman on the operating table, and without applying any anesthetic or putting her under anesthesia, they immediately cut open her dress front and poked the incisor into her abdomen and sliced her open.

At first, the woman, in shock didn’t respond when they cut her. Only until they started digging her baby out did she start to cry in pain. The doctors and nurses, plain as day, ignored her cries of pain and continued to dig into her abdomen for the baby.

After a few agonizing moments, the baby was out. But it didn’t look like a normal baby. No. It looked like a cocoon. In actuality, the doctors and nurses had dug the baby out with the placenta still attached! And just like that, it was over. The woman was now quietly crying in pain and slumped with fatigue.

However, the doctors and nurses take no notice of her and just left the ER with the baby. Not caring for the woman at all! As the time ticked by, the woman began to lose consciousness, her blood dripping from her open abdomen onto the ER table and floor, as if a blood war had gone on in the ER.

When all hope seems lost, a nurse came into the ER! She whimpered for the nurse to save her but the nurse ignored her and made a beeline for the alcohol cabinet. The nurse actually took a bottle of alcohol and took a swig from it! After drinking, the nurse turned to look at the poor dying woman and decided that the woman’s opened abdomen looked “annoying”. So she went to the cabinet again and took out a huge bandage the size of a A4 paper and started applying it with a sticky substance that could only be said as glue.

The poor women, unable to see from her blurry eyes what was going to happen, cried in happiness thinking that she was going to be saved. But in fact, it was the opposite. The nurse closed her abdomen using one hand while the other slapped the closed wound with the sticky bandage.

And that’s how the poor woman died. She died because of my perverse nightmare…

I thought that if I woke up, I would forget this dream, I thought that if I woke up, I would be able to fall asleep again and dream of something nice. But as I fell asleep again, the dream continued and throughout the whole night, nightmares haunt my dreams.

I have been having a splitting headache since this morning. And it has not abated one bit. Time and time again, I would feel like throwing up but in the end, I didn’t. In fact, I feel feverish now and the headache is killing me! So I’m just going to log off now, bath, and hopefully, have a dreamless sleep.

Good night! (Hopefully it really turns out GOOD!)

Last Thursday, during the Abnormal Psychology lecture, Ms. G was supplying different phobias that were unknown to us (mainly because she gave us the medical terms and asked us to guess). So tonight, I’ll be listing a few of the rather unusual phobias to give you a clearer picture as to what these “gibberish” words actually means in lame men’s terms.

The phobias listed below are unusual and at the same time, one can’t imagine having to live in fear of it.

Unusual Phobia A
Ablutophobia - The fear of washing or bathing
Aerophobia - The fear of swallowing air
Ambulophobia - The fear of walking or standing
Anemophobia - The fear of wind

Unusual Phobia B
Barophobia - The fear of gravity
Bibliophobia - The fear of books

Unusual Phobia C
Cathisophobia - The fear of sitting
Chaetophobia - The fear of hair
Chromatophobia - The fear of colors
Cibophobia - The fear of food
Clinophobia - The fear of going to bed

Unusual Phobia D
Dendrophobia - The fear of trees
Dextrophobia - The fear of objects at the right side of the body

Unusual Phobia E
Eleutherophobia - The fear of freedom
Epistemophobia - The fear of daylight

Unusual Phobia G
Geliophobia - The fear of laughter
Geniophobia - The fear of chins
Genuphobia - The fear of knees
Geumaphobia - The fear of taste

Unusual Phobia H
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - The fear of long words
Hydrophobia - The fear of water
Hypnophobia - The fear of sleep

Unusual Phobia I
Ideophobia - The fear of ideas

Unusual Phobia L
Levophobia - The fear of objects to the left side of the body
Logophobia - The fear of words

Unusual Phobia M
Mnemophobia - The fear of memories

Unusual Phobia N
Nomatophobia - The fear of names

Unusual Phobia O
Ommetaphobia - The fear of eyes
Ophthalmophobia - Fear of opening one’s eyes

Unusual Phobia P
Panophobia - The fear of everything
Phobophobia - The fear of fear
Porphyrophobia - The fear of the color purple

Unusual Phobia S
Scotomaphobia - The fear of the color black
Sinophobia - The fear of China or Chinese
Syngenesophobia - The fear of relatives

Unusual isn’t it? I thought so too. Especially the fear of PURPLE! I can’t believe that some people are afraid of the color purple it makes me really sad that if I were to have a friend who have a phobia for purple, I wouldn’t be able to talk about purple or have any purple items while she/he is there *sighs*

Now that you know some of these unusual phobias, do you think you have some sort of phobia as well? If you do, what is it?

It’s the beginning of a new year here on Earth. Not only does it bring wonder and joy, it also brings a new revelation that you’re another year older than you were last year, the world had not, in fact, ended, yet, thank goodness, the fact that you’re still single/married/divorced/widowed/dead even though a whole new year passed you by.

To me, a new year is just like any other year. What a new year means to me :

• 356+ days have passed since I first started blogging;
• I’m spending 2008 alone and single unlike 2007;
• A whole new University semester has begun bringing 6 types of hell (subjects and assignments) and an extra hellish bonus (theses);
• The fact that I’m becoming 21 this year and I am finally able to get a taste of alcohol without sneaking around;
• A chance to start a whole new emotional stage now that I’ve become a woman a.k.a. an adult;
• I’m still stuck in this hellhole of a University jampacked with “la-la” students and overly dramatic environment;
• I’m still alive to gather more slaves (a.k.a. “friends”) and to conquer the world (a.k.a. taking over and making their lives hell);
• I’m still hungry whenever I need to be;
• I’m a slightly different person than I was last year.

That’s about all I could think up for now. For now, those are the things that portrays what I think about most. I’m going to sign out now because I’m just so freaking hungry now waiting for F and and JT to finish their group meeting in the class. I want to EAT!! *stomach growls loudly*. Ja ne~!